Are you constantly wondering why you don’t receive the text you wanna get after the first date? My friends, let me tell you, I have been there. Every day, thousands of people get ghosted. It’s quite normal in this modern-day and age.
Ghosting means avoiding people on the internet, so if someone is not replying to you, not texting you and not answering your phone calls, chances are you got ghosted.
Why You’re being ghosted
Ghosting is just something that every person needs to move past, you have to get over it as soon as possible. dating can really be hard and you should know that it will always be hard, anyway, here’s why you got ghosted:
Not meant to be.
Not all people will tell you that what they want, you might want a long term relationship but they just want a hook up for the night, they might just want to be friends with you but you might want something more. If he/she senses that you don’t want the same thing, there’s a 50/50 chance that they may ghost you. that’s just how it is.
Let’s all agree that ghosting is not cool, If you think you are not meant to be, the best thing that you can do tell that person that you are not on the same page.
They have self issues.
There’s a lot of people who deal with depression, there’s also a lot of people who’s just awkward. You need to learn that this is simply not your fault, but there’s a lot of ways you can turn this around. For example, a guy who’s confident enough to date an awkward girl will be able to turn the tables just by talking and talking.
The first date is the roughest part when you’re dating because this is where you test someone if they’re compatible with you or not. If you feel that someone you want is really awkward, then I suggest that you don’t beat your self about it, just move on and try to improve yourself.
If you want to learn how to improve yourself, click on the link.
some people also ghost you to avoid rejections and it makes them feel good about it. somebody who ghosts people will feel good because they will feel superior to you. It’s the classic case of you trying to get your idol/parent’s approval or Daddy Issues.
If they tell you that they are busy there’s a 50/50 chance that it’s true. Busy people want to relieve their stress sometimes by going into dates. But take note that this is also a classic reason why they ghost you.
You can avoid this reason by asking them on the first date what they usually do, what’s their job, how their day is like, it may seem sweet but to be honest I’m just checking if they have the time to date me.
He/she got turned off
We can’t blame everything on your date! sometimes they get turned off because of something that you did. Either way, I have a checklist on what bad might’ve happened, and it might be any of these:
- You are late on the date – The goal here is to prove that you respect each other’s time, being late shows that you are not capable of making good decisions.
- You don’t smell good – Personal hygiene is one of the things I get turned off with. That’s why you should shower, brush your teeth, and wear perfume before going on a date.
- You are not well-groomed – another great way to turn off someone is to dress like a hobo. You should wear clothes that fit you and make you comfortable. You should also pay attention to your hair as it leaves a great impression on your date
- You can’t make them smile – One of the best things that you can do on a date is to make them smile, throw in a couple of jokes here and there and let them know that you’re not boring. This makes them think that life with you is not boring.
I always remember these four items when I’m on a date if I think that I missed one of these, I could always assume it was my fault, but I do not beat myself into it, what I do is that I try to improve myself on my next date.
Tips for moving on.
Since we all know that the process of getting a date to actually becoming exclusive is hard and time-consuming only to find out that you’re ghosted can be really devastating, you can still move on and think that even if he/she’s not there your life still goes on, you’re still free to date and mingle to everyone that you want.
Focus on your career
Focusing on your career is probably the best thing to do if you’re someone like me who wants to be successful in life. After I broke up with my ex-girlfriend I made sure that I am my own man, I want to be my own boss, gradually I noticed and realized that the time I spent with her is now replaced with work, and from there I made my own empire.
You too can do the same, focus all your energy in your passion and turn it into a job that benefits you in the long run.
Hangout with friends
Hanging out with friends is a proven method to reduce your stress. in fact, studies have shown that you can reduce your stress by joining activities with your friends like getting coffee or playing games.
Traveling is a fun way to enjoy the things around you. It also makes a great topic on the first date, trust me, traveling is something that both you and your date will enjoy.
You can also date someone while you’re traveling, not will you get to experience the culture but you will also open your mind to different things.
How to Avoid being ghosted
While ghosting is a real problem for everyone, I would tell you that the best thing to do is to just get used to it. I usually think that ghosting me is a good indicator that we don’t fit together. If she ghosted me then chances are she’s not that interested in me, if she’s not interested in me then it would be a one-sided love and I don’t want that, trust me, you won’t like that either.
Instead of moping around and telling yourself that it’s the end of the world, convince yourself to be a better person than he/she is wrong to ghost you. I’m sure that you will eventually get a great date and get yourself someone who accepts you for who you are. And let me tell you this. If you found that special someone, you wouldn’t have to worry about being ghosted on.