How long do you date before becoming exclusive?

The first few dates of a relationship truly feel like a honeymoon. When you date someone, everything they do makes all the butterflies in your body all jittery. Everything they say makes you smile like a kid in a candy store. You just want to snuggle up in bed with them all day and do nothing. But! There’s this voice at the back of your mind asking “Where is this going? What are we?” Talking to your partner about what your relationship status is maybe a little difficult especially at the beginning of the relationship. You don’t want your partner to be seeing other people but you also don’t want to scare them off with commitment.  Some people prefer to date casually for two weeks or even months before committing to exclusivity. Other factors such as timing and distance can also affect how soon two people decide to see each other exclusively. There isn’t a perfect formula that can tell you how long to date someone before being exclusive. You may not be able to pinpoint the exact moment when you become exclusive. This whole idea of when to be exclusive is made up by the people going to college thinking that dating multiple people at once is somehow equated to being an adult. Date as many people as you want, and if that number is one that’s absolutely fine. Here are a couple of questions you’d want to ask yourself before having the “Are we exclusive talk?” with your boyfriend or girlfriend.

Who am I dating?

You never wanna be in a relationship with someone you don’t know or don’t know you. Some people shed a “boyfriend/girlfriend-material” facade when on a date. This means that they match your personality so you can like them. But the truth is that they’re a whole different person outside of the date. There are some benefits to dating someone similar to yourself, but it’s not necessary. It is important to find someone who has some similar interests to you but stays true to themselves.

The dating game can be nerve-wracking. It’s only natural don’t worry about how you’ll come across and whether or not your date will like you. To combat first-date nerves focus your attention on what your date is saying or doing and what’s going on around you. Be genuine, if you’re just pretending to listen or care your date will pick up on it. No one likes to be manipulated or placated.

Communication is the key. Talk with the person you are dating. Understand what they like or what they don’t like. Ask if they are dating anyone else (IMPORTANT!). It is vital to make sure you know your partner before being in an exclusive relationship with them. This will help you realize if you want to be committed to the person you are dating for a long time.

Building a fruitful relationship takes time, it’s important that you think about it for a long time before committing to an exclusive relationship. We recommend taking your time when you date someone.

If you still don’t know how to tell if a girl likes you, read our full guide.

Am I ready to be in an exclusive relationship?

When we start looking for long-term relationships, many of us do so with a predetermined set of expectations such as how the person should look and behave, how the relationships should progress, and the roles each partner should fill. There’s trouble making exclusive relationships, for some people commitment is much more difficult than others. It’s harder for them to trust others or understand the benefits of a long-term relationship because of previous experiences. How long does it usually take before two people decide to be exclusive?

For most, dating in their 20s (especially the early years) maybe just a form of entertainment or companionship with someone. A boyfriend or girlfriend who’ll go to concerts with you or take pictures for your Instagram feed. And that’s okay. For many, the right one isn’t found immediately.

Dating in your 30s and up, you may be looking to settle down. You may want to find a boyfriend or girlfriend who you can make a long-term investment with. But sometimes, it’s not about the age but about your goals in life and if your partner will be there to support you for it. Are you ready to become exclusive with someone is a question you must ask yourself. Loyalty is important in an exclusive relationship so you must be prepared to be with only your partner during this time. I know two is better than one, but that isn’t the case in the dating game.

If you aren’t ready to be loyal forever, then maybe think of making it clear with the person you are dating. You don’t want the person you are dating to have false expectations over the relationship.  That never ends well. You can spend more time together there’s nothing like spending one or two days away from the hustle and bustle of daily life. While we strongly suggest that you make sure that you know yourself first before dating, you must also know your partner. Entering a relationship takes time and someone like you should know that.

Signs your partner is married to his job

Do I see a future with them?

Admit it, every girl has always dreamt of walking down the aisle in a pretty white dress. The question is who is the person at the end of that aisle. Okay, kind of a big assumption on the person you are newly dating but still – you want to be in a relationship for a significant amount of time. Some people consider it exclusively to be the first step. It comes before calling someone your boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner which is a little more serious and requires a more in-depth discussion. Nobody wants to be in a relationship that lasts only for a month, everybody dreams of having someone who’ll be their forever. A person you’d wanna go all like Adam Sandler in the 1998 film The Wedding Singer and say  “I wanna grow old with you”.  You have to ask these questions to yourself because you don’t want to end up in a relationship that you will regret. Dating someone can be time-consuming and emotionally draining. You wouldn’t want to waste your time in a relationship that will just be another Nicholas Sparks novel. It is important to see if the person you are dating raises any red flags for you. A relationship only works if the two of you want to work on making this committed relationship work well.

When is the right time to ask if you are in an exclusive relationship?

Well, that actually depends. Many people have varied responses to the amount of time they need to make sure they want to become exclusive with their partner. Some relationships take a one week, one month, or even a year of dating before becoming exclusive! It takes time and varies with the people. Once you’ve been casually dating someone for a few months, It’s normal to start feeling that you’d like to establish some sort of exclusivity. After all, if you really don’t want to see anyone else, and the thought of your partner seeing someone else makes your skin crawl, it’s definitely worth mentioning. The important thing is both of you are willing to spend time and effort on this exclusive relationship.

The Popular Answer:  Three Month Rule

If you want to be in a serious committed relationship, it is best if you get to know each other before dropping the “boyfriend/girlfriend” label. For most couples, the three-month rule applies. The three months of dating and communicating give them time to become acquainted with their partner. This gives them a sufficient amount of time to understand their personalities, quirks, and habits.  The first month is the fun part where you and your partner have fun and good times all the time. The two of you are still both shy and excited about knowing things about each other. This stage of the relationship, your chemistry is electric as you are finding things you have in common with. The second month is when you are learning about their annoying habits or quirks. But still during this time you are way too infatuated with them that you don’t mind. The third month is perfect for determining if you want to be in a relationship with this person as you know some of their good and bad habits. The three months of dating will be your good reference to help you decide whether becoming exclusive with this person is the right thing to do.

When both of you are stable

becoming exclusive is a big step for both you and your date, you need to make sure that you enter a relationship with the people you know, trust, and like. Being stable by yourself is a good indicator that you can commit to an exclusive relationship. But if you’re entering a new relationship, you also need to make sure that your partner is stable if they are, then both of you will go a long way.

One thing you need to understand is that you don’t have to rush yourself when you entering brand new relationships, you have to talk to your partner and ask yourself if this feels right and good. Healthy relationships are created. Its something we learn by lots of trial and error, so if you’re struggling with it. you’re in good company.


Overall, time will tell if your boyfriend or girlfriend will be “the right one” for you in the long run. But for now, becoming exclusive with them is the first step into a healthy and loyal relationship. All relationships change over time. What you want from a relationship at the beginning may be very different from what you and your partner want a few months or years down the road. Accepting change in a healthy relationship should not only make you happier but also make you a better person. One more thing when looking for the right one for you, forget what looks right, forget what you think should be right, forget about what other people think is right, ask your self does this person is a good one or does feel right for me?

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